I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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