This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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