Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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