I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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