im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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