There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
