I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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