Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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