She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My bed smells like the plague
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
