Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So squirting runs in the family.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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