yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
