Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
