Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize