I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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