I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
