He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
