Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
