so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
