yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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