I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize