Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
