Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
