Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.

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(509): View more from Washington

you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin

(509): View more from Washington

and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"

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(928): View more from Arizona

I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.

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(614): View more from Ohio

He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.

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(217): View more from Illinois

If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...

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(727): View more from Florida

His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.

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(210): View more from Texas

Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off

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