i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
