lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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