he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
