Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
