i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i believe in u and ur pee
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