They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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