You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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