My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
