When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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