I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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