I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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