He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
