I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
