Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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