My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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