your thong is hanging out like whoa
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
