btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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