I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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