I heard we made out
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
