You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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