your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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