I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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