covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
