You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
