Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
