Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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