Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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