its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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