My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
