i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
do herpes really smell.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
