i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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