Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
