On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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