you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
