in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
