i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
