Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
