she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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