Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
