Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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